Research suggests that perinatal OCD affects an estimated 2 to 3 out of every 100 new mothers — and some studies put that number as high as 7%. Here's the part almost nobody knows: as many as 80 to 90% of postpartum women experience unwanted, intrusive thoughts at some point, whether or not they ever go on to develop OCD.
If a disturbing thought has ever popped into your head out of nowhere, you are not rare, and you are not the only one.
Perinatal OCD — also called maternal OCD — is a form of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) that appears during pregnancy and postpartum. It involves intrusive thoughts about potential risks or harm that can come to your baby — thoughts that can consume you with anxiety and fear. For some moms, these thoughts come with compulsions — checking, cleaning, avoiding. For others, the thoughts show up with no compulsion at all, just a relentless, looping fear.
If any of this sounds familiar, I want you to know something before we go any further: this is common, this is treatable, and none of it means you're a bad mom.
OCD Thrives in Silence
Intrusive thoughts are sometimes difficult to say out loud. They're disturbing — genuinely upsetting to experience. They're catastrophic in content — often about the very last thing a mother would ever want to happen to her child. And they're what's called ego-dystonic, meaning they go against who you actually are and what you actually want. That's why these thoughts are so anxiety-provoking: they don't speak to who you are or what you want. You care about your baby and your family, and you want to protect them, keep them safe, and have good things happen to them. These thoughts are the opposite of that — and that's what makes them so scary.
Maternal OCD is often misunderstood and under-diagnosed, and it can leave mothers suffering in silence and alone. Very often, parents are afraid to share these thoughts — worried they'll be judged, or that something is "wrong" with them. In truth, intrusive thoughts are a hallmark symptom of OCD, not a reflection of your character or your parenting. You are not broken. You are having a very real, and very treatable, experience.
How Perinatal OCD Shows Up
Perinatal OCD can show up in a lot of ways — constantly monitoring the baby's breathing, excessive cleaning and sanitizing, avoiding leaving the house, or avoiding being left alone with the baby. Some moms have a hard time sleeping because they're afraid something will happen to the baby. Some start avoiding the baby altogether, afraid of their own thoughts. Some clean and sanitize bottles and countertops far past what's needed.
The symptoms tend to fall into two categories:
Intrusive Thoughts
- Disturbing thoughts or images about the baby being harmed, dropped, or suffocated
- Obsessive worries about cleanliness or safety — excessive concern about surfaces, bottles, floors
- Unwanted, upsetting thoughts of a sexual or violent nature involving the baby or other family members
Compulsive Behaviors
- Checking behaviors — repeatedly checking on the baby, excessive internet searches, over-verifying safety precautions
- Constantly washing hands or disinfecting items to avoid contamination
- Repetitive rituals, like arranging things a certain way to feel "safe"
- Avoidance — of being alone with the baby, or of certain places
Sometimes moms experience only the intrusive thoughts, without any of the compulsions.
In session, this often looks like: a mom who takes a different route home to avoid a bridge, without ever explaining why. A 2 a.m. Google search — "is it normal to think about dropping the baby" — followed by panic that even searching it is somehow incriminating. Replaying the last ten minutes after putting the baby down for a nap, checking and rechecking that nothing "happened." A partner who notices the avoidance or the checking long before she's found words for it herself.
None of this makes you a bad mother. It makes you a mother whose brain has gotten stuck in a very common, very treatable loop.
Recognize yourself in any of this? I offer a free 15-minute consultation for new and expecting moms in Virginia.
Schedule a Free ConsultationMaternal OCD in Northern VA
Being a new mom in Northern VA is not easy. The work/family demands combined with the steep learning curve of being a new mom can leave many women feeling overwhelmed and more anxious than ever.
If you're a Fairfax, Arlington, McLean, Reston, or Alexandria mom who prided yourself on having it together before the baby came, and now feels like your mind won't stop — that's not a personal failing. That's a very recognizable pattern, and one I work with often.
I see a specific pattern in a lot of my Northern Virginia clients: women who are used to being good at things. High-achieving, career-driven, the ones who plan, prepare, and execute — at work, and now as mothers.
Being a mom is deeply destabilizing. A baby brings constant change — new routines, unpredictable sick days, shifting behaviors, a need for endless readjustment and recalibration. Suddenly, days can feel unpredictable, and some things genuinely feel out of control. Therapy can help with these feelings, so you can navigate the changes, the constant readjustment, the unknowns, and the worries that come with trying to meet so many demands at once.
Therapy Is a Safe Place to Talk About This
Healing from perinatal OCD starts with being met by someone who isn't shocked, isn't scared, and isn't judging you — someone who has heard these thoughts before and knows exactly what they are and aren't.
In our work together, you'll have a space to say the things you've never said out loud, and be met with empathy, validation, and understanding instead of alarm. That in itself is powerful. Being heard — really heard — starts to restore the trust you've lost in yourself, and in who you are as a mother.
The good news is that OCD symptoms can improve — often quickly — with therapy. Together, we'll:
- Understand intrusive thoughts — what they are, where they come from, and what they mean. More importantly, what they don't mean, and what to do with them. Just being able to talk about them freely, without feeling judged, can be healing in itself.
- Find healthy ways to cope with stress — healthy times and spaces to relax, recharge your energy, practice controlled breathing, and seek support.
- Build emotional support — a safe place to talk about this major life transition you're going through, where you feel heard, cared for, and understood as a mother and as a woman. You are not alone, and you are not to blame.
- Build your self-confidence and feel empowered in this new role. Postpartum is a steep learning curve — you're learning quickly about your little one while sleep deprived, and that can chip away at your self-esteem. In therapy, I'll help you recognize the good mom you already are, and find your identity as a new mom.
- Connect with your baby, and better enjoy motherhood.
- Connect with your partner — improving communication and mutual support and understanding.
- Prioritize sleep and self-care. It's not selfish. It's necessary.
Insurance for Therapy in Northern Virginia
I offer telehealth therapy for new and expecting moms in Fairfax, Arlington, McLean, Reston, Alexandria, and across Northern Virginia. As a Certified Perinatal Mental Health Specialist (PMH-C), perinatal OCD is one of the core areas I specialize in. I accept insurance in Virginia through Headway, which means sessions are billed to your insurance directly. I currently accept:
- CareFirst BlueCross BlueShield
- Aetna
- Kaiser Permanente
- Quest Behavioral Health
- Carelon Behavioral Health
You Don't Have to Carry This Alone
You don't have to keep carrying this alone. A free 15-minute consultation is a good place to start. No commitment, no pressure. Just a conversation.
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